Pre Overt
I am on a limited income, 5 children with one being diagnosed with DMD. I am unable to work a full time job. The university I attend was paying for me to see my therapist through a grant. That money has run out and I am trying to find other options to help me afford therapy that I do need for my mental health to be a better mother and person.
I had a childhood where I was seen not heard. I didn’t learn how to express myself and found ways to be seen in high school that wasn’t the best (drugs, alcohol, stealing, etc) I was married at a young age to a man that lied and cheated on me. Growing up in a very religious home, I have a lot of religious trauma that I am trying to deal with. My son who is handicapped will die within 5 years. My life is very chaotic and I am trying to find myself where I don’t engage in destructive behaviors to cope with things.
During Overt
My Therapist has really helped me figure out how to better communicate with my mother. She went over different ideas of what to say, how to say them and the best way I can come across to better express my feelings to her. It has been a hard thing for me to do my whole life. I was able to call my mother, stay calm, say most of what I needed/wanted to say.
We did EMDR and it was about why I feel worthless towards my mother. I have always thought it was my dad that I received that belief from, but I learned that a lot has come from my mother. We did EMDR and was able to see how much my whole being believed that I was worthless. I had so many examples that popped into my head that I haven’t dealt with, we will have to finish next session.
My therapist always knows how to keep me focused and talk about things I don’t want to talk about. We got through a lot of issues I have been having with my mother.
As I am coming to a close on the program, we have been able to make huge progress these last few sessions. Hit on why I am so upset with relationships and it was so empowering to be able to have a plan and to contemplate over these next 2 weeks about it.
As I may not be able to see my therapist for a while, we did end on a good note with many tips on how to control my emotions and ways to keep them at bay. Very hopeful and excited to see what the next few weeks bring with me being able to use the tools my therapist gave me!
Post Overt
My addiction to alcohol and drugs has pretty much been depleted.i don’t numb out hardly at all now and it is so empowering!
Find help. Talk to someone. Find *why* you are numbing out. Finding out really helped me understand the reasoning I numbed out and to take action to not do it!
I have learned that I’m normal. My hatred, my fear, my sadness is all normal. It is finding a way to cope and deal and change my thinking about all those things that had helped the most.