There is no easy way to explain the devastating and crushing grip my mental health has had on me, the relationships that have been severed, the misunderstandings that have occurred and the pain that has spread through my mind.
To the outside world I seemed normal perhaps just quirky, but the pain was at times completely unbearable. With three suicide attempts by the age of 22, I was convinced that I deserved all the hurt. I also thought everyone was experiencing the same things as me, so I never spoke up. I never wanted to burden anyone with my secrets.
Over the past ten years there have been multiple hospital interventions. Doing CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) has been an abslute life changer. The way it’s executed through the team of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, occupational therapists and nursing staff has helped me understand that you can deal with your emotions and channel certain behaviours into healthy tasks and activities.
it has allowed me to slowly begin my journey to a form of comfortable recovery, but most importantly, it has allowed me to trust people again. I have learn that I am in total control of my own mental health