Pre Overt:
I have been through a long term abusive relationship with a significant other, grown up with aggressive parenting that has left me with a lot of anxious behaviors, and I also have serious depression on top of that, and I struggle with an eating disorder. I have started therapy but I have quickly become unable to continue treatment because my insurance doesn’t cover mental health, and I just can not afford that much money considering I am a college student who is going to school to be a teacher nonetheless.
I am a college student who only works part time, and my parent’s insurance does not cover mental health services. My current therapist does not feel comfortable with me being done with therapy quite yet, however since my insurance doesn’t cover it and my parents can’t afford to help me, I am running out of options for be able to continue therapy.
Yes, I have been in therapy for a little while now, but I’ve been going under clergy pay since I can’t afford it and my insurance doesn’t cover it. Now that I have used up my allowed number of visits under clergy pay, I hardly go to therapy anymore.
During Overt:
After my first session I was able to be very compassionate towards my struggle for once in my life. I’m learning to stop and think deeper about my personal life and how I can improve.
My therapist does a great job preparing me for our sessions. This time we did EMDR and really dug into my past and where my negative cognitions come from. I am fighting my seasonal depression but the sessions are helping.
I’ve been doing better about just ripping the bandaid off and talking about what I needed to talk about instead of beating around the bush.
My therapist has been so great at keeping me positive. I finally had some good things happen in my life and she made me feel so supported. A year ago I had no one in my life. I was so alone and felt like I didn’t belong here. This year, I’ve embraced vulnerability and being authentically me and I’ve gained some of the best people in my life for it.
This week I’ve been feeling a little down – I cried in front of my therapist for the first time. I never let myself do that. My depression seems about normal. I am able to understand it better though.
I’ve struggled with my eating disorder but my therapist has been able to help get me back on track. We made a plan to help me feel more in control and get back into a healthy routine. We challenged my inner critic by doing some parts work with my inner child and it was really eye opening.
Post Overt:
I no longer am suicidal. I am happy about my relationships and I love who I am even with my mental health challenges. I can finally eat food again without having anxiety from my eating disorder cognitions. I do wish I could have gone into the therapy office in person rather than doing remote but that is what I had to work with and it was still really great.
I am very hopeful for the future, and I deserve as much happiness as the next person. My thoughts have been more often positive than negative which is a HUGE improvement from before doing therapy.
I learned to love vulnerability. Most of my growth came with my therapist pushed me to dig deep and be honest with not only her but with myself. Self love can not exist if I am living to please others be being anything but my authentic self.